Why can’t anything that’s ‘new’ just be ‘nice?’
When receiving a gift from someone, there’s something ‘new’ that comes into our lives. Often, depending on the gift, that can be a ‘nice’ experience.
When LIFE hands us ‘new’ experiences, there are often elements of the experience that are ‘nice’ or seem ‘pleasant,’ but there might be other aspects that are anxiety provoking.
What do I mean?
The first time I landed a job as a teenager, I was elated. I got a job as a waitress at a small-town General Store restaurant. It was exciting to know that I would be earning money for college (another new experience on the horizon for me), and it was thrilling to be exercising some newly acquired independence.
It was also scary.
Every new experience presents a transition period. And transitions are often uncomfortable, no matter how ‘nice’ the change is.
From the moment I found out I had the job until after the first day on the job, I was an internal wreck. The “what if” factory in my brain was going non-stop.
What if I mess up orders? What if customers get angry with me? What if it gets so busy, I can’t handle everything?
What’s most uncomfortable in the transition phase of a new experience is the uncertainty. There was no way for me to know if I was going to be “any good” at the job or whether people would be benevolent or beastly toward me.
Despite all the ‘new’ experiences I have now collected in my life, I still dread the transition between knowing about the change to being on the other side of it. It’s still uncomfortable to sit in the land of uncertainty. And my brain’s ‘what if’ factory has become much more skilled over the years- probably because as an adult, there is seemingly more to lose when making any change.
Sometimes, when there’s a choice involved with the transition (should I take this job or that one, should I sell my house or keep my house, should I go back to school or apply for new jobs, etc.), it can be easy to get STUCK in the transition. And when we’re STUCK in a transition, it can be challenging to even know where to start in making decisions about change.
In this episode of Growing in Uncertainty, l take a deep dive into the mechanics of transitions. As we are all transitioning from a year that brought tremendous change to a year that promises more change yet, I wanted to speak to the discomfort of change and uncertainty. You’ll learn how to navigate life transitions in supportive and healthy ways for yourself.
May the transitions that are unfolding in your lives bring precious gifts that help you become the person you are meant to be.