Are You Bypassing Your Emotions?

How are you feeling these days?


I know. I’m like the billionth person to bring up the fact that there’s a LOT changing and transforming right now. Whether it’s in our personal lives or the public stage, every which way we look, there’s something else that isn’t the same, for better or worse. This makes us feel like there isn’t anything left that we can count on. There’s no place to rest, so we’d just rather go back to bed.


If you aren’t having this experience right now, that’s fantastic! And rare, based on many of the conversations I’ve been having lately. When I ask friends, family, or acquaintances, “how are you,” often times, there’s a pause, and then in a very flat tone, they will say, “everything’s fine.”


I’ve learned to recognize that when somebody says they are “FINE,” they are actually using that acronym with which you may already be familiar- F*%$ed up, Insecure, Neurotic, and Emotional.


In this moment, they are bypassing those emotions. In that moment, it’s understandably easier just to say they are “fine.”


Are you really “fine?” Or are you trying to push some overwhelming emotions down? If you’re pushing those emotions down, how is that working for you? When was the last time you were able to feel one of the more pleasant emotions?


It’s understandably much easier and perhaps necessary to turn the emotions off so we can get through the day.


But did you know that your emotions are a life navigational tool? Your emotions help you know what you want more of or less of in your life. Your emotions also let you know when you’ve gotten off track. And they let you know when it’s time to pause and honor something that you value. Your emotions are constantly trying to HELP you. Even the painful ones!


For various reasons, many people have learned how to bypass their emotional messaging system. Not only are they unable notice the uncomfortable emotions, they also don’t get to experience the emotions that feel good.


Recently, I asked a client, “what emotions come up for you when you’re dealing with this aspect of your life?” They said, “Honestly, I don’t know.”


This client has been bypassing their emotions for so long, they can’t even label them anymore!


In this episode of Growing in Uncertainty, I talk about why we bypass our emotions in subtle and not-so-subtle ways. And I offer some ideas on how to invite those emotions back into your awareness so they can be processed.


When we have the ability to use our emotions as tools in life, we can make some of the most powerful and best choices for ourselves. And we can start living life to the fullest, even when everything is changing around us.


It’s time to stop just surviving and to start THRIVING.



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