Tess Miller
May 4, 20212 min
What might be different in your life if you could forgive yourself?
Yesterday, I was working outside, trying to pull weeds and get ready for the growing season. But I couldn’t pull the weeds until I cleared away the remains of last year’s growth.
“I should have done this last fall,” I kept saying to myself. Every brown leaf and dead twig reinforced feelings of frustration and resentment. I was so angry at “Fall 2020 Tess” for saddling “Spring 2021 Tess” with all of this cleanup.
As the negative self-talk revved in my mind, feelings of anger and frustration turned into helplessness and hopelessness. It seemed useless to even try to get done what I felt needed to be accomplished in the amount of time I had, especially as I started thinking about all the indoor tasks I had yet to do before the start of the week.
In desperation, I began flitting from one flower bed to the garden to another flower bed, not really finishing anything I started.
Noticing that my inner and outer wheels were spinning, and I was getting nowhere fast, I paused in order to understand what was happening. The barbed wire fence on which I was trapped was the fact that I didn’t do the yard work that “should have” been done several months ago. And because I couldn’t get beyond the self-blame and the need to punish myself with my inner monologue, I wasn’t going to be able to complete any of my tasks.
I was STUCK!
And it was time to forgive myself.
Turning toward forgiveness, I was able to let go of the negative energy that was weighing me down and preventing me from actually finishing anything. I could start to ease up on the self-talk and find more supportive things to say to myself. This helped me find the energy I needed to make decisions about what I could do in the amount of time I had.
Self-forgiveness is the topic of this week's episode of Growing in Uncertainty. You'll learn what self-forgiveness is and how to go through the process of forgiving yourself so that you have more energy and motivation to get UNSTUCK.